Guilty Conscience

Posted on 24. Mar, 2007 by frank in friendship

I almost made a mistake. I am so glad that I followed the Proverb – “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” (Proverbs 15:22)

You know how there are times when people really frustrate you, and you want to lay a huge guilt trip on them to get them to do what you want?

Well, I started doing that. I actually began the process of tying this person up with the ropes of guilt so they felt trapped into doing what I wanted them to do. Luckily, I acted on the above proverb and got the opinion of someone I respect before I did any damage to the relationship.

It kind of strange when I sat down to breakfast to lay out the situation because I didn’t even realize I was using guilt as a tool to get what I wanted. The advice was much needed. My friend said, “Frank, this person needs to know that you care about them. They don’t need a guilt trip.”

I think I felt justified in what i was doing because I thought by getting them to do what I thought they should be doing, they would become a better person. I also felt it would improve their situation. What’s even crazier is I should know better! I know people have to want to change, and you cant use guilt as a motivator because even if it works is doesn’t work for long. Guilt doenst make things stick. It only causes resentment in the long run.

So, where do we go from here?

Love is what works. Showing people you actually care about them is what works. Thinking about what you can do for others and not what they can do for you will change your life. This whole thing reminds me of another verse that is hard to live out…

Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

I am so glad I have people in my life that will tell me the hard stuff. Especially, when I am about to make a mistake. If you dont have someone that will do this for you, go find that person ASAP.