Confrontation

Posted on 21. Apr, 2008 by frank in friendship, relationships, spiritual growth

I have been thinking a lot about confrontation lately. I spoke about it in a recent sermon, given counsel to a few leaders and volunteers, and wrote about it in a recent post (here). David Foster, author and pastor, recently posted 10 Signs It’s Time To Confront:

1. It’s time to confront when things aren’t working out even after you’ve given them sufficient time to do so.
2. When you’re avoiding each other.
3. When your silence is more about fear than the truth.
4. When allowing the contact to go on is hurting the other person.
5. When the contact is hurting other people.
6. When you see there is still time to redeem the relationship, the job, the person, or the potential future.
7. When you’re responsible for the health and well-being of the people involved in the situation. You have the power to do something, therefore you have the obligation.
8. When you’re able to separate the behavior from the person. You love the person always, even though you can’t support the behavior.
9. When your integrity and reputation as a friend, manager, leader, or business owner is on the line, it’s time to confront.
10. When you understand that sometimes love must be tough if it’s truly love. Love that is based on a lie is indulgence. Love that is based on truth and applied with mercy and grace is truly a gift from God.

Confrontation can be such a good thing when done the right way. It presents a real growth opportunity for us and the other person.