Take Your Date To Church?

My favorite blog, Stuff Christian’s Like, just keeps getting funnier! He recently brought me back in time to some of my memories of dating in church. Which just happens to be where I met my wife, Shelli. Here are Jon’s top six tips for taking a date to church:

1. Pray that the minister asks you to hold hands. I am normally against the forced hand hold, but if you are on a date, you should hope that the minister asks the congregation to hold hands. I’m not saying you do the interlink digit thing,you barely know this person, but still it might be nice.

2. Make a church date mix tape. This is actually easier than it sounds. Just put the song “I can only imagine” on a CD 13 times. Then add one Prince song, preferably “When Doves Cry” because save for the eagle, the dove is the most appreciated bird in Christianity.

3. Take lots of notes during the sermon. If you don’t sing, take extensive notes during the sermon and aggressively greet the people around you when given the chance, you should just wear a t-shirt that says, “This is the only date I will have with this person.”

4. Volunteer for the two-year old class. If the other person suggests church, accept the idea quickly. Then up the ante by calling your children’s ministry and volunteering to work the two-year old class that morning. The date is already going to be a little weird, I say just amplify the weirdness.

5. See if the worship leader will give you a synthesizer solo a la Will Ferrell. If you know the worship leader ask she or he if you can do a synth solo during the middle of worship. Then during “How great is our God” you can lean over to your girl or guy casually, roll up your sleeves and say “I’ll be right back, I gotta go take care of some business.”

6. Tell him you want to go dutch on the tithe. When the usher comes by with the offering bucket, take it from him like he’s a waiter with a bill and say, “We’re not together, could we please get separate buckets.”

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